you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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