Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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