I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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