Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize