I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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