Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Sober January is a disaster.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We need a shit load of segways right now
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
