so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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