The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no, he came in my armpit
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
