At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you made out with another girl for some wings
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