You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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