he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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