So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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