at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
