I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
