quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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