Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
