I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
