DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
