this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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