I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
