I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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