My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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