i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
