I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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