what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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