You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
