remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
