Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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