So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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