I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
