its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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