roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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