Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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