The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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