But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Can i not drive my cunt home
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
