so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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