i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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