Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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