Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
