Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
