Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
