Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
