isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
