so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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