Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
