Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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