office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
