even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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