I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize