I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
