took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
