ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
