I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
