i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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