I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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