I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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