hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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