Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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(206): We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that. http://tfl.nu/vyji

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

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(920): I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too. http://tfl.nu/1n8l

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.

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(864): We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game. http://tfl.nu/1oa9

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.

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(303): I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer. http://tfl.nu/2j6i

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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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(443): My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve. http://tfl.nu/bc9v

Replies (18) Good night (1075) Bad night (6579) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

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(704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/ot2w

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.

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(570): do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome. http://tfl.nu/5az6

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.

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(215): I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns. http://tfl.nu/6hbs

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(917): View more from New York City

Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.

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(917): Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap. http://tfl.nu/690y

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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(262): Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/jzba

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(360): View more from Washington

Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck

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(360): Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck http://tfl.nu/w3fd

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.

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(814): bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles. http://tfl.nu/uozt

Replies (11) Good night (2556) Bad night (631)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

That is a hangover

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I would prefer a headache

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(215): Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame (267): That is a hangover (215): I would prefer a headache http://tfl.nu/ewcu

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(903): View more from Texas

We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.

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(903): We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service. http://tfl.nu/lvor

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(614): View more from Ohio

Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.

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(614): Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/o52k

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