i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass