She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
