apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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