what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize