Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
