What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize