before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
