whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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