I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you inspire me to be a worse person
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
