so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
